


Letting go

by TheSerpentOfSilverPlumes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: And assorted avengers - Freeform, And that heart is Rhodey fiGHT ME, Angst, Gen, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, My fear (wants) for the next avengers, Rhodey & Tony BROTP, Tony Stark Has A Heart, spoilers for Infinity War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-06 21:48:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14656896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSerpentOfSilverPlumes/pseuds/TheSerpentOfSilverPlumes
Summary: “I’ve already given up so much.” Steve was talking to himself. It wasn’t the kind of thing he would have said to anyone else. To talk about other peoples sacrifices like they were tributes to him and honorifics of his suffering. He didn’t believe it really but Tony could see why here, at the end, it might feel that way.It was funny. No-one questioned why it had to be Steve. Except Tony. But Tony questioned everything.





	Letting go

**Author's Note:**

> Why? Good question. Follow up: why not?
> 
> If there are errors, hit me up. I wrote it when I was supposed to be revising. 
> 
> Also British spellings.

Tony didn’t have to look at him. He could feel Steve crumple beside him. The last of his strength expelled with a sardonic laugh that no-one felt. 

“Surely you must have known. You’ve brought with you everyone left that you love. You must have known that you couldn’t all make it back.” Tony would have taken the tone for mocking, if the man standing before them was anything more than the spectre that he’d become. A hollow of a man who took more now, when the deaths meant nothing to him, than he had when he was alive. More than he had the last time Steve had triumphed over him. But he couldn’t punch his way through this one. There would be no triumph this time.

Steve hadn’t known. Tony had kept the truth from him again. It seemed that they were doomed to play the same games. Doomed to dance around cold reality with warmer lies that made it easier to keep going, keep pushing, just one more day and one more fight. So cold. 

“I’ve already given up so much.” Steve was talking to himself. It wasn’t the kind of thing he would have said to anyone else. To talk about other peoples sacrifices like they were tributes to him and honorifics of his suffering. He didn’t believe it really but Tony could see why here, at the end, it might feel that way.

“You’ll get them back.” That was Nat. Her voice was as steady as her face but Tony could tell she was bracing herself. She thought she was the one. For Steve, she probably was. She was talking about Bucky, about Sam. There were some he’d had to let go that he would never get to see again, no matter what move he made today.

It was funny. No-one questioned why it had to be Steve. Except Tony. But Tony questioned everything.

“I don’t buy it.” Even to him, his voice felt jarring cutting across the soft conversation. He could never step delicately.

“Tony-” Not now. 

“No, no.” He held up a hand. It wasn’t entombed in his suit. He didn’t want to wear it right now. “I know that you and Nat have this – this connection,” he waved the same hand over the two of them “but a love strong enough to snatch the soul stone from right under the nose of big, tall, and purple? I’m just not buying it.”

“We have no choice.”

“You have no other choice.” He didn’t mean to always sound so confrontational but it felt wrong to change anything now. “Thanos. He, what, killed his daughter? A daughter he treated – frankly – quite horrifically I grant you. But that’s still family. I’m not buying your assassin squad, A-team, connection here. Sorry.” He snatched Rhodey’s arm clean out of the air. “You’ve always been like a brother to me.” He hadn’t told Rhodey all that he knew either. He didn’t know if he’d be able to get him here if he had.

He didn’t want to spell it out. He didn’t have to. “Tony-” He’d heard that tone before. All the time. He’d heard it just last week but for some reason, in that moment, it reminded him of times long past. A time when Tony was a man no-one could be proud of. A time when Rhodey stood by him and saw the best in him, despite it. 

“You know it has to be this way.” 

He could hear the others catching up. Steve was the only one to make any noise of complaint. “Tony, no-”

“No you’re right.” He swung around violently. So violently Rhodey clung onto him with both hands. “You’re right. Why should I have to die? Why can’t it be Natasha? She’s just an assassin. She hasn’t got a family. Who would miss her? I’m engaged. I was talking about having a kid, for fucks sake. There’s so much more I can do.”

In the absence of his anger, there was just silence. Tony let himself slump, just a little, against the man he’d been leaning against his whole life. “You know this is right. With the cards that we have, this is the best play.”

Rhodey’s hands were so tight against his shoulders that it hurt. “Tony don’t ask me to do this.”

“I’m sorry, sugar bear. You’re right, this isn’t fair.”

“This is by far the worst thing you’ve asked me to do. And you’ve made me do some pretty awful things.” He was laughing but the sound was all wrong. Tony had to look at him. He wanted to see the tears. Was that selfish? He didn’t want to see them to know that Rhodey was crying for him. He wanted to see them because if he was going to make him suffer, the least he could do was bare witness to it. 

“I know. I know. This is the hardest part though.” He looked Rhodey in the eye as he walked them both backwards, towards the edge of the cliff. “I’ve been living on borrowed time Rhodey. Ten years. I should have died, we both know that. This -” He had to stop to laugh, aware that his sounded wet too, “this is crazy. This is insane. It was a blessing. Now I get to turn Yinsen’s sacrifice into so much more. It’s a gift Rhodey. It’s so much more than I deserved.”

“Don’t you ever say that to me Tony Stark.” Rhodey’s grip was so tight that Tony could have let himself go lax. He couldn’t do it. It was still so hard to let go. “You deserved so much more than this.”

“Tell me there’s a better play.” It was a plea as much as a statement. They all knew there wasn’t one. “We can’t afford to go half hearted now Rhodes. This will get us the soul stone. Tell me you think it’ll get us the soul stone.” He needed to hear it. Needed to hear that Rhodey loved him enough.

“It was always supposed to be you and me.”

“One of two isn’t bad. Tell me you’ll get the soul stone.”

“I’ll get the soul stone.”

“Ten more years with you Rhodes. The things I did. The things we did. That was a blessing.” He started to peel off Rhodey's fingers, just to loosen up his grip a little. “I just have a couple more favours I need to ask.”

“Spent half my life doing you favours. You still got more?”

“When you see her, when you save her, tell Pepper that I’m sorry. Parker. Make sure he’s okay too. Both of them – you make sure they’re okay.” He wouldn’t get to the see them again. All that planning and he only realises that now. 

“I’ll make sure Happy’s set up with a house in Malibu and everything.” 

“Make sure you’re okay too.”

“Okay now that’s too far.”

“One more favour. Please?”

“Yeah. One more.”

“Tell me that you forgive me.”

“Tony. Tony – I’ve never blamed you. Not for anything. Not for this. Especially not for this.”

Tony smiled and he really felt it that time. “Then you can let me go.”

Rhodey laughed too. Distantly, he was aware of the others watching. Clint. Thor. Nat. Bruce. Steve. They probably looked crazy. Still, they both laughed. Tony’s face was soaked with tears and he couldn’t even tell if they were his or if they were Rhodey’s. It was still so hard. He was glad that he had Rhodey to carry him across the finish line. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to do it otherwise.

“There is no letting you go, Tony Stark.” And then the hands fell away from his shoulders and, with the lightest of pushes, his fight was done.


End file.
